Part 27: Wrapping Up

OK, now we are entering the truly insane and hard-to-chronicle stage. We've got the layout done and you've seen how we look at color proofs for the photos and design. You've seen the story editor's and researcher's comments on the proof, both of which were forwarded to the copy desk to input. Bob also sent a couple of changes along as well. The copy desk input all of those changes and produced the final proof, which is -- as the name suggests -- our last chance to weigh in with any changes. Story editor John Birdsall, managing editor Jake Young, and Jason all took one last look at this version and made their final adjustments, and then ran those tweaks past one another before collecting and inputting them. Mostly this was done over the phone on Saturday, but this exchange will give you a sense of the overall tone.

On 9/19/08 10:17 PM, "Cohn, Bob" <Bob_Cohn@wired.com> wrote:
Just read the proof. Bravo -- it's very nice. I made a few comments, which I'll leave for Brian on his chair.

Two things of substance. First, I'm open to rewriting the hed. But I still haven't heard what it should be. Of all the ideas, I'd lean most to going back to Charlie Kaufman, the director's cut...and then just living with the large-type echo. But maybe great(er) minds can do better on Saturday.

On the proof, I suggested subbing out "But a decoder ring? Dream On." with "Go ahead -- have a little gray matter with your Raisinets." Scott said he could handle that, but he also then forwarded me this line that Jason sent earlier in the day:

Hollywood's brainiest screenwriter pleases crowds by refusing to be crowd-pleasing. His directorial debut is his trickiest film to date. This time, has he gotten too smart for his own good?

Is there an amalgam, a la:

"Hollywood's brainiest screenwriter pleases crowds by refusing to be  crowd-pleasing. His directorial debut comes packed with the usual existential despair, absurdist humor, and intellectual mischief. Go ahead -- have a little gray matter with your Raisinets."

What hed that goes with, pls think about.

And number two: I think the concept of the sidebars is working fine. But I find the first two to be somewhat repetitive, and the third somewhat uninteresting. I realize these don't have to be earth-shattering -- they're process! -- but do we have something (email exchange or something) we could sub in for 1 or 2? I think it picks up more at 4 and 5. This isn't an
essential change, but I'd like us to look at it.

On 9/20/08 7:08 AM, "Tanz, Jason" <Jason_Tanz@wired.com> wrote:
Hey all. Ok, for the hed, I'd suggested "The Kaufman Paradox." that speaks to the non-crowd-pleasing first sentence of the dek. But I can live with charlie kaufman: the director's cut. Happy to defer to the crowd.

I've gone back and looked over the blog. Unfortunately, there really isn't anything to replace #2. The only other option is a fairly boring and pretentious screed I wrote to Nancy before I'd seen the movie. You can see it here if you like -- but I'm sure all will agree that what we have is better.

One thing I do think we need to do: remove the date from the assignment letter. In reality, this actually took place AFTER #2 and #3, once we knew  kaufman would participate. I think we can fudge and put it first, for clarity's sake, but we should remove the date.

On Sep 20, 2008, at 2:10 PM, Jacob Young <Jacob_Young@wired.com> wrote:
I'll work on the display. I know the multiple repetitions of "Kaufman" at the  top of the story is deliberate, but it could also be a bit annoying.

Also, we need a caption on the second spread photo...

On 9/20/08 2:23 PM, "John Birdsall" <John_Birdsall@wired.com> wrote:
Here's the hed/dek Jason and I both like:

The Kaufman Paradox
Hollywood's brainiest screenwriter pleases crowds by refusing to be crowd-pleasing. His directorial debut comes with the usual existential despair, absurdist humor, and intellectual mischief. Go ahead--have a little gray matter with your Raisinets.

On 9/20/08 2:30 PM, "Jacob Young" <Jacob_Young@wired.com> wrote:
A tiny rhythm adjustment...

He's one of Hollywood's brainiest artists, a screenwriter who pleases crowds by refusing to be crowd-pleasing. His debut as a director comes packed with existential despair, absurdist humor, and intellectual mischief. Go ahead -- have a little gray matter with your Raisinets.