"Excuse
me, where is Orchid Street? A waifish young lass asked
me in the Lower East Side the other day. "You mean Orchard Street," as
I pointed her to midtown. Feeling the end of summer doldrums and
the only one not in the Cramptons this weekend, I filtered
through the milling droves of tourists and became literal: I'll make
beloved Labor Day all about work. (boo hoo shut up and get to
work.)
Wondering why fantastic minds could come up with
a cab mapper in real time, map
the most famous voyages in history, map your
interactive friend wheel, map
all the public restrooms in the city, I thought, can't why not put the tourists into their correct place
too? Color code them and give them some parameters so we can
co-exist. For instance, If you are native, you are 100% cyan,
majenta, yellow or black: you know where you are going. If you
are a gawker, walkabout, or dawdler you recede to a noncommittal mauve,
ochre or khaki. And if you slowly stroll hand in hand, or display any
kind of p.d.a. in the middle of a thoroughfare you are not worthy of so
much as a tint, but immediately become a target for the
Street Wars.
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